I know it is been a while since I posted here. Frankly, it’s been 5 months since I wrote a blog post. A lot has happened since May 2018 and many of you have been a part of our lives for a long time. It all started with the episodes of Fever for a week and then I had to leave Ira at home for work when her reports said Typhoid. Since then, I quit my job, stopped attending events as a blogger and accepting sponsored work from brands & PR’s.
June brought with it a very different experience for all of us a family and since then things have changed. That’s the last month I wrote anything at all. All the personal and emotional happenings have brought me back to a spot where I was in 2016.
The Creative Burnout…
I have tried writing but I was not able to complete articles. July to September I didn’t write at all because I was afraid of not able to complete the articles. The single best thing that happened during this period was our first ever trip to Delhi – Gurgaon. Those 10 days gave me the confidence to travel solo with a toddler. It made me realize what I want to do as a person all my life. October was spent planning for things I wanted to do in life because my Instagram account got deleted. That is every millenial bloggers night mare and it has happened with me twice. Just when I thought that may be the trials are over November brought along poor health.
There are lessons that I learned from everything that happened to me and with me. From Leaving the job to my Instagram account getting hacked to being targeted by fellow mom bloggers. Everything that happened just left me drained. Despite of being a religious follower of THE SECRET, I felt lost in a world that I believed to be my own.
Here are a few things that I learned & how I am implementing what I learned –
Trying to please others –
I started working on 3 secret projects and very few know about them. One of them being my online stationery business. This time, I am thinking only about my creative happiness instead of trying to please others. I have always been that girl for 24 years of my life who needed the support of her family in everything she chooses to do. I have left at least 10 things in between just because my father didn’t approve of it or he demeaned my creative talent. So, from a little girl to someone who doesn’t need validation from anyone it is a big win-win for me personally.
Not sleeping on time or not sleeping at all
I am suffering from depression and it brought along insomnia with it. Though I am struggling to sleep at the right time instead of 3 AM now I can easily sleep for 8 hours without the support of any pills. Also, activity tracker helps me to understand my sleeping patterns better. I use Mi-Fit Band 2. Here is a link in case you would like to buy it.
Here are a few activity trackers that I personally love.
Always checking the phone
I have switched off my iPhone, Android phone, iPad and locked them inside. Basically, I realized how unnecessary these things are why they are so overhyped. I now click photos on my camera and work on my laptop. I am still struggling with my addiction to Youtube, Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hotstar and Zee5 (Yes, I am a movie buff. Remember Film Making student?) I rarely on my phone when I need to post an Instagram story, other than that I do everything from my MacBook.
Overthinking & stressing
I am damn sure many of you do either of it. While I do more of over thinking and less of stressing I know both are problematic equally. The physical condition that I am in right now will be credited to both. Overthinking + Overstressing = Lifestyle Diseases. In my case it’s PCOS and just to let you know how serious it can get, I am bleeding for 31 days today(Menorrhagia) and I am on complete bed rest. Which means my body and mind is completely drained.
Now that I have lesser mediums of communications, I have fewer things to think about and I am definitely not stressing or overthinking. Apart from that, I have started meditation and it’s helping me a lot to control my thoughts. I once believed meditation is extremely boring, but some lessons are worth learning.
Unhealthy eating habits
The Instagram world knows my story with food and weight this year. From eating one meal per day to eating only junk food when the blue skies start raining, I have done a lot of shit there. So now I make it a point to have all my meals with my daughter on the same plate. This way, I am eating on time and I know she is always watching me. I end up finishing everything on my side of the plate.
Taking things personally
How I wish I could learn the subtle art of not giving a f*ck. But for now, I am completely away from the bullies and the spineless people.
Being a crybaby
The last time I cried was in the court when I won the case for my daughter’s birth certificate. It was very difficult for me to cry. Being a strong single mother had made me too strong to express. The only emotion that I knew was anger. But since I started crying when I felt too much, I felt calm from within. And these days, I am a movie crier too. So the lesson learned is, its ok to cry than to be angry and hold on to thoughts.
Not consulting a counselor
I once went to a counselor when my daughter was a month old. He told me that I did a big mistake by giving birth. I never went to a counselor after that due to the terrible experience. But this year, I started seeing a counselor and I know each week I am a better person. We all need help and it’s ok to ask for it sometimes outside.
That’s it for the day!
Hope you guys have a merry month!